Lately, I've been thinking about my Mom and Dad, who I lost in 1994 and 1989 respectively. The holidays, and particularly this year, loss and solitude is weighing heavily on not only my heart, but so many others too.
But, this post isn't about loss or loneliness, it's about hope and angels and someone always having your back.
I have to start this story from the beginning, which was way back in 1994 when my Mom was ill and bedridden. In May of that year our church was having a dedication and John Cardinal O'Connor, who was the Archbishop of New York at the time, was coming to bless the new altar. My Mom had wanted to go in the worst way, but it just wasn't physically possible for her to do that. My brother was going to be at that Mass though with his family. After the service my brother managed to talk to Cardinal O'Connor and tell him about our Mom and how sad she was that she couldn't be there. Cardinal O'Connor asked for her phone number and promised my brother that he would call her once he was on his way in the car.
As they say, timing is everything... I lived in an apartment next door to my Mom and just happened to be walking over to her house when my brother excitedly pulled up and he and his family piled out of the car with him yelling, "Mare get in the house quick! Mom's getting a phone call!" I had no clue what was happening but of course we all ran into the house as the phone was ringing. Mom picked up the receiver and the moment she heard the Cardinal's voice, her tears started to flow. We will never know everything that he said to her but I do know that he promised to pray for her at the Mass the next day. He wouldn't mention her name, but she would know that it was her specifically that he was praying for.
My Mother was raised as a Lutheran. As a matter of fact, her grandfather was a Pastor. She converted to Catholicism to marry my Dad. Growing up, we were raised to pray the rosary as a family, attend Mass weekly and say grace at every meal. My Dad used to do Eucharistic Adoration on the first Fridays of the months, so we were all raised in the faith. After my Dad passed away I went to Mass with her on occasion. I had Tom at the time so sometimes we had other commitments so we couldn't go with her but the times I did go it seems that she was always in tears by the end. If I was there I would sit there and hold her hand for as long as she needed, but it always just killed me to think of all the people, and priests, that might be just passing her by when I wasn't there. When she got too ill to go, she watched the Mass, from St. Patrick's Cathedral, daily on the t.v. She had a devotion to Mary too and used a one-decade crystal rosary that I had given her to say her daily prayers on. That little rosary would go on to spur me to a rejuvenation of my own faith after she was gone, as I have written about in another post.
After the telephone call, I wrote a thank you note to Cardinal O'Connor but I also mentioned to him my concerns about her spiritual support, or rather lack of it, from our parish. I also wrote about my own struggles with dealing with her illness and just my life in general. I was gob-smacked when I received a response from him. Even more humbling, was the personal note that he added at the bottom,
"I hope to be able to visit your mother personally on the occasion of the very first opportunity I have. Please tell her I did offer Mass for her in St. Patrick's Cathedral."
Something else happened around that time though. Somehow I found the incredible strength to get through this very difficult time and I could actually feel the presence of some very large angels around me. I believe that it was the prayers and Masses that Cardinal O'Connor offered for my family and I that carried us through those dark months. I could literally feel them beside me and behind me, every day and all day for months. Their presence was so strong, I felt like other people should be able to see them with me, towering over my petite frame.
I know for a fact that my Mother had angels surrounding her as well. She spoke about them being in her room and protecting her from the other fallen ones that were there too.
Prayer is a very powerful aid, very powerful indeed. I even know the exact day that they left me. At the time I lived literally around the corner from town and had walked up to the pharmacy. When I was in there I met a man, Mr. DePonte, who I've known since I was a little girl. Mr. DePonte had an amazing baritone voice and sang with our church choir. He sang solo at my Mom's funeral Mass. When I met him in the pharmacy he looked a little down-trodden but I went over to him and thanked him for his amazing performance and complimented him on his voice. It was like the sun shone again when he heard my words. He left the pharmacy with a smile on his face. I distinctly remember when I was walking home I felt suddenly elated. I felt like the angels were patting me on the back and saying you did good! You will be fine! Our work is done here. In an instant, I didn't feel them anymore, but they had gotten me through my Mom's birthday, which was in mid-October.
It was truly a blessing to have Cardinal O'Connor in my life over those few months. One person's prayers and support can make such a huge difference in a person's life. I thank God that the spirit moved my brother to say something to him when he had the opportunity. I thank God that the Cardinal was not only a man of word but one of action as well. He gave me the incredible strength to go on and my Mother the peace that she needed in order to let go of us and to move on.
Over the months I wrote a few more times to him to keep him current on the situation. He responded every time I wrote to him, though it took a few weeks.
The Cardinal added a note to our last correspondence that said,
"I am so grateful for having met her, if only by phone."
I just wanted you all to know that you are never alone. Your Guardian Angel is ALWAYS with you. Jesus, is ALWAYS with you. Prayers do work. Pray for someone today that they may feel your love. After all, prayer is the greatest gift of love.
Peace to you all.
Mare
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