John Cardinal O'Connor, the Angels and Me

Lately, I've been thinking about my Mom and Dad, who I lost in 1994 and 1989 respectively. The holidays, and particularly this year, loss and solitude is weighing heavily on not only my heart, but so many others too.

But, this post isn't about loss or loneliness, it's about hope and angels and someone always having your back.

I have to start this story from the beginning, which was way back in 1994 when my Mom was ill and bedridden. In May of that year our church was having a dedication and John Cardinal O'Connor, who was the Archbishop of New York at the time, was coming to bless the new altar. My Mom had wanted to go in the worst way, but it just wasn't physically possible for her to do that. My brother was going to be at that Mass though with his family. After the service my brother managed to talk to Cardinal O'Connor and tell him about our Mom and how sad she was that she couldn't be there. Cardinal O'Connor asked for her phone number and promised my brother that he would call her once he was on his way in the car.

As they say, timing is everything... I lived in an apartment next door to my Mom and just happened to be walking over to her house when my brother excitedly pulled up and he and his family piled out of the car with him yelling, "Mare get in the house quick! Mom's getting a phone call!" I had no clue what was happening but of course we all ran into the house as the phone was ringing. Mom picked up the receiver and the moment she heard the Cardinal's voice,  her tears started to flow. We will never know everything that he said to her but I do know that he promised to pray for her at the Mass the next day. He wouldn't mention her name, but she would know that it was her specifically that he was praying for. 

My Mother was raised as a Lutheran. As a matter of fact, her grandfather was a Pastor. She converted to Catholicism to marry my Dad. Growing up, we were raised to pray the rosary as a family, attend Mass weekly and say grace at every meal. My Dad used to do Eucharistic Adoration on the first Fridays of the months, so we were all raised in the faith.  After my Dad passed away I went to Mass with her on occasion. I had Tom at the time so sometimes we had other commitments so we couldn't go with her but the times I did go it seems that she was always in tears by the end. If I was there I would sit there and hold her hand for as long as she needed, but it always just killed me to think of all the people, and priests, that might be just passing her by when I wasn't there. When she got too ill to go, she watched the Mass, from St. Patrick's Cathedral, daily on the t.v. She had a devotion to Mary too and used a one-decade crystal rosary that I had given her to say her daily prayers on. That little rosary would go on to spur me to a rejuvenation of my own faith after she was gone, as I have written about in another post.

After the telephone call, I wrote a thank you note to Cardinal O'Connor but I also mentioned to him my concerns about her spiritual support, or rather lack of it, from our parish. I also wrote about my own struggles with dealing with her illness and just my life in general. I was gob-smacked when I received a response from him. Even more humbling, was the personal note that he added at the bottom, 

"I hope to be able to visit your mother personally on the occasion of the very first opportunity I have. Please tell her I did offer Mass for her in St. Patrick's Cathedral."

Something else happened around that time though. Somehow I found the incredible strength to get through this very difficult time and I could actually feel the presence of some very large angels around me. I believe that it was the prayers and Masses that Cardinal O'Connor offered for my family and I that carried us through those dark months. I could literally feel them beside me and behind me, every day and all day for months. Their presence was so strong, I felt like other people should be able to see them with me, towering over my petite frame.  

I know for a fact that my Mother had angels surrounding her as well. She spoke about them being in her room and protecting her from the other fallen ones that were there too.

Prayer is a very powerful aid, very powerful indeed. I even know the exact day that they left me. At the time I lived literally around the corner from town and had walked up to the pharmacy. When I was in there I met a man, Mr. DePonte, who I've known since I was a little girl. Mr. DePonte had an amazing baritone voice and sang with our church choir. He sang solo at my Mom's funeral Mass. When I met him in the pharmacy he looked a little down-trodden but I went over to him and thanked him for his amazing performance and complimented him on his voice. It was like the sun shone again when he heard my words. He left the pharmacy with a smile on his face. I distinctly remember when I was walking home I felt suddenly elated. I felt like the angels were patting me on the back and saying you did good!  You will be fine! Our work is done here. In an instant, I didn't feel them anymore, but they had gotten me through my Mom's birthday, which was in mid-October.  

It was truly a blessing to have Cardinal O'Connor in my life over those few months. One person's prayers and support can make such a huge difference in a person's life. I thank God that the spirit moved my brother to say something to him when he had the opportunity. I thank God that the Cardinal was not only a man of word but one of action as well. He gave me the incredible strength to go on and my Mother the peace that she needed in order to let go of us and to move on. 

Over the months I wrote a few more times to him to keep him current on the situation. He responded every time I wrote to him, though it took a few weeks.

The Cardinal added a note to our last correspondence that said, 

"I am so grateful for having met her, if only by phone." 

I just wanted you all to know that you are never alone. Your Guardian Angel is ALWAYS with you. Jesus, is ALWAYS with you. Prayers do work. Pray for someone today that they may feel your love. After all, prayer is the greatest gift of love.

Peace to you all.

Mare

 

 

New for January 2015

We have some pretty new things to add to our collection, as there has been such a demand for inspirational pocket items last year. We will have more Footprints in the Sand pocket inspirationals coming in this week, which sold out a few times last year. Being added to this collection of ours is a St. Michael and another type of angel, which is for healing. We are sharing the stock photos here and will have nicer ones when they arrive. (You can never have too many angels.) The prices for the new items are $2.50 each.

We are also introducing a new line of items known as our rosebud collection. These are tiny rosebud-shaped lockets on a chain. The ones we have selected come with a picture of the Sacred Heart of Jesus/Immaculate Heart in one and Our Lady of Grace/Guardian Angel in the other. We are very excited about adding these to our line as Mare has wanted them for a few years now. We are sharing a stock photo of that item as well and promise to add better pictures when we receive them. The prices for the rosebuds are $4.00 each.

We hope you like them all as well! Have a great week.

Peace!

Mare

Why DOES God Allow Suffering in The World?

While I was sitting in the adoration chapel yesterday I started to ponder this question. It's an age old question that has been debated over for centuries. I am sure that God has his own reasons for it and is sitting there chuckling at my pea brain trying to wrap my head around the immensity of the question. A few things occurred to me, though, and at least for me it kind of fell into place. Now, mind you I am not a theologian nor a scholar. Some days I have a problem tying my own shoelaces, right over left, left over right, bunny ears or not, but when you have a Bible in front of you sometimes you do have that huh moment.

It first struck me that it is mentioned in the Bible, a few times actually, that we are here for a purpose and that God has bestowed us with certain gifts

He specifically speaks to Jeremiah about his purpose by saying, " Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations." As we are equal in God's eyes it is obvious that if he knew Jeremiah before He formed him in the womb then He knew you and me as well. He appointed him to be a prophet just as he appointed us to do the job that He put us here to do. 

He also bestowed upon us gifts to help us accomplish this job. As it says in Corinthians 12:7-11:
"7 Now to each one the manifestations of the Spirit is given for the common good.  8 To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit. 9 to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit. 10 to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues and to still another the interpretation of tongues. 11 All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines."

HOWEVER, He also gave us free will. It is the free will of the humans and entities that God has created that bring the evil into the world. Not God. Just as He gave his angels free will, He also gave it to man. Free will is what ultimately got Satan kicked out of heaven when he turned against his creator. Free will is also what will toss many humans' souls into Satan's realm as well. I think of the people like those that attended the black mass in Oklahoma City over the weekend. It is because of free will that they are doing so. Are they doing this out of love, forgiveness or kindness or to walk in the footsteps of God? No. Not only are they rejecting all that God is and what He ultimately wants us to do, they are mocking and desecrating Him. Even the smallest, or what we perceive to be the smallest, of evils such as a lie, is turning away from God. God doesn't lie.

Which brings me to another point - when evil or suffering directly affects a human. I think there are two ways to look at it. First, I know that there is absolute evil in the world. That doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out; all you have to do is open a newspaper to see that. Sometimes, though, evil is brought to our doorstep. Again, I believe the free will component has to do with it. The person chose to do evil to someone else. God doesn't mess with free will; it's a gift to us but it is an important one. We should use it very wisely. I look at some of the stories from 9/11/01. Thousands of people were killed because of the evil someone chose to do. On the other hand look at the heroism that occurred that day from the first responders to Brian Clark who led three other people out from above the impact area in the south tower. Look at the passengers of flight 93 that called their relatives to tell them that they loved them and then perished to save the lives of others. I have no doubt, whatsoever, that God knew then and knows now what people are going to do during their life here and how they are going to die. It is part of our life plan and the purpose we are here to fulfill. Those that survived, and those that were late to work or off that day or that missed a flight, are not finished with their job here yet. That's what I believe.

HOWEVER, Every single, solitary soul that has walked this earth is going to die and be judged immediately on their actions here. Nobody gets a free ride, get out of jail card, when it comes to God's ultimate judgment. 

As for suffering? Life IS suffering. Life is learning. Life is loving. I have said it before and I will say it again - Jesus' OWN Mother suffered in her life here. Why would anyone think that they were exempt? What people do not realize, though, is that suffering is actually a gift. It can be a means to purify your soul if you unite it to Jesus' suffering and offer it up to God. It doesn't matter what type of suffering it is, physical, mental, financial or emotional accept it and offer it up to God. Many people today, including Catholics, do not believe in a purgatory or purging of the soul before entering heaven. Frankly I do not understand this, at all. Do you honestly believe that you are a perfect soul and will go straight up to heaven? I don't. I am a sinner not a saint and I accept all of my suffering as a way to cleanse my imperfect soul so that I may one day be with my Father. I do believe that some suffer a purgatory on earth, but also believe that the purification continues after your earthly death as well. Yes, Jesus has the ability to forgive sins and take your soul to paradise with Him, as he did for the thief on the cross next to His, but do I think I will be that blessed? No. For me to think so is quite presumptuous. 

Suffering and death of our loved ones can also propel us into our own purpose in life. How many individuals have chosen a career or started an organization because of the suffering or death of a loved one? I can think of quite a few of them. On the other hand how many people have chosen to blame God and walk away from Him, using their free will to do so? If you really contemplate it, it is almost cyclical, the circle of life as they say, and a bit overwhelming to comprehend in it's magnitude.

Evil and suffering are not the same thing. Being or doing evil is a choice. Suffering is not. Again, that is my opinion.

As for those that seem to lead a magical, wonderful life? I think that they need to examine just who it is that they are following. You cannot serve God and mammon as it says in the Bible (Matthew 6:24). Marino Restrepo, a Catholic evangelical, believes that the devil is actually protecting those people from suffering. It's an interesting concept and you should watch some of his videos. My take on it? If you are that blessed then get down on your knees, every day, and thank God for your blessings as not many people have a picture perfect life tied up in ribbons and bows.

So, that is what my little pea brain has come up with. This is what happens when you give me a Bible, a piece of paper, a pen and two hours of contemplative silence. I am sure that we all have opinions on Why God allows suffering in the world. At the very least, I hope that this post makes you think of why YOU think He does. It is not an easy answer.

Have a blessed and peaceful week!

Mare

Love Thy Neighbor -

easier said than done sometimes, especially in this day and age. I have to admit it; I have been very nostalgic over the last few days. That is one of the tricks that growing older can play on you. Youth seems clearer to you sometimes than yesterday does. Lately I have been missing the old days when Tom was just a wee boy running around the neighborhood lawns with his friends and I would sit on the front steps with my neighbors and just chat about all sorts of things. Back then you did not think twice about asking your neighbor to babysit and of course you would reciprocate any time they needed help as well. We laughed together, we mourned together, and as a community we grew our children together.

Thinking back even further to the days on Staten Island, before the bridge, and even after, when I was still a child. I never, never, ever heard my parents talk about any of our neighbors unless it was to say that they were doing something with them or something of the sort. We were a very tight knit neighborhood and supported each other through all the challenges that life gave us. My parents taught me a valuable lesson about looking out for each other.

That feeling remained with me when I moved into this neighborhood 17 years ago. I used to have an older Italian woman living next door. Our backyards did not have a fence between them so very often I would sit in mine and she in hers and we would chat. My yard was all grass at the time so  I would help her weed her little piece of  Italy. She had a beautiful little yard with fruit trees lining a brick walk and grapevines covering an open trellis above her patio. Assorted flowers dotted her landscape as well. I used to love the smells wafting from her kitchen too or waking to the sounds of the operas that she had playing on her CD player. Often times I would wake to the opera music early in the morning and I just knew that she had her canvas set up and was painting in the yard. She often did that. In the front of the houses was our garden. When I first moved in it was half grass (my side) and half bushes and flowers (hers). After one season I thought this looks so stupid, so I ripped up the grass, mirrored her side on my own and then infused more flowers onto both sides. Many a Spring, Summer and even Autumn when we were experiencing an Indian Summer we would sit out there and weed the garden and just chat. Those moments are ones that I still cherish. Mary moved away when she got sick and never had the heart to say goodbye to me but that is okay. It would have broken my heart to say goodbye.  She is now with God, having passed away a few years after her move,  and I am sure tending to an incredible garden in paradise while listening to an incredible choir.

On the other side was a family with two kids. That family was loud and boisterous, but what I call good people. Of course the neighborhood was brimming with kids. Many of them used to come and sit with me and help me in the garden. They would then come and show their parents what they had planted and sometimes I would give them a plant of their own to put in their bedroom. Grace used to play with the kids too. She would often frolic on my neighbors grass with the kids laughing with glee because she was kissing their faces. Gosh I loved this neighborhood and all of my neighbors.

Lately? It has become a struggle to live here. Neighborhoods change, people move, life goes on. I miss the small town U.S.A. that I grew up in. I miss the caring and compassion of years gone by. I am finding it incredibly difficult to love my neighbor when they are standing in front of my home gossiping about people (including me). My crime? The guy next door got some poison ivy in HIS yard. My response? Yank it out; just like I yanked it out of my yard two months ago. Ivy happens and spreads. Get over it. This same guy? Stole my snow shovel during the Christmas blizzard a few years ago and then lent it out to the guy next to him. He also stole  my weed whacker and a 500 foot extension cord a few Summers ago. This year? He called the health department on us. They arrived, looked at the backyard and said what is this guys problem? There is nothing out there. Case closed.  Some neighbors are just not very neighborly.

Jesus gave us a very tall order -

You have heard that it was said, You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you that you may be children of your heavenly Father, for he makes his sun rise on the bad and the good, and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what recompense will you have? Do not the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brothers only, what is unusual about that? Do not the pagans do the same? So be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect - Matthew 5:43-48.*

To be honest, I am struggling with it at the moment. I do not know if it is because I am tired and not feeling well or what but my pollyanna, rose colored glasses, the glass is always half full outlook on life is wearing around the edges. The only thing that I can do is arm myself with a rosary and meditate with an open heart and often. Not only will I pray for strength for myself I will also pray for my neighbor. Most of all I will forgive him and move on. That is what Jesus would want me to do and as hard as it is to do, it is the proper thing to do anyway. Just let it all go. That is the only way that healing can begin. Regardless of what we do Jesus loves each and every one of us. If we are to follow in his footsteps we must do the same.

Have a peaceful week,

Mare

Yesterday, I Heard the Voice of an Angel

No kidding! Yesterday I was up very early, well for me anyway, and had my morning routine done by 9:00 am so I decided to go to mass earlier rather than later and attended the 9:30. Did you ever have one of those moments when something just elated you so much that you had to smile? Well I had one of those moments yesterday.

From where I was sitting I could not see the angel. I could not tell you if it was a boy or a girl, or their age. But what I can tell you is they might have been pint-sized in stature but certainly not in devotion. There was an adult choir singing at the mass, front and center of the church, but the angel had them beat  by a mile and sang every song as if it was being sung from the tip of his/her toes to the top of their head. The little angels somewhat squeaky voice  sang every single song and said every prayer clearly and crisply and with such innocence it was hard not to smile. I could just imagine the little finger pointing at each word as it was enunciated. It was just beautiful and uplifting and poignant.

Perhaps that is what Jesus meant when he said -

Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven - Matthew 18:3 King James Bible

When was the last time you attended service and sang the loudest (or even sang) and recited the prayers and thought of the meaning behind each word and understood or, at the very least, contemplated it?  I will admit I am not perfect either. On occasion I too have been known to mouth words to songs or not sing along as I did yesterday because I did not have them in front of me. We should all approach the church and the altar of God as brilliantly as that small child did yesterday. What an incredible service that would be.

If that beautiful little voice elated me to a new height I cannot even begin to fathom how it elated our blessed Lord Jesus, to whom he/she was singing and praying. All of us could learn from the little angel. Leave all the things of this world outside when you enter your church. Listen to the scriptures; do not just read them in the book. Close the book and listen to the words being read and those being preached. Sing the songs, even if you sometimes sound like a croaking toad as I often do. Approach the Eucharist with the reverence and grace that it deserves, regardless if you believe it is His actual body and blood or a reminder of His sacrifice. Keep the Sabbath holy. Attending mass on Sundays is a wonderful way for a family to spend a day. It is true - the family that prays together, stays together. I am not sure if services are mandatory for many of the Christian faiths, I suppose it is, however I do know it is for a Catholic. Nothing has changed in their doctrine since its inception. Sunday mass is mandatory and to not attend (sans illness or inability such as there are no churches in your area) is considered a MORTAL sin. That is a major no-no.

Let us all find time to be with our Lord here on earth and have the same passion for Him as the little angel.  He deserves nothing less than our undivided attention and our un-ending devotion. I have often said if you cannot find one hour a week to spend with Him, well then how do you expect to spend an eternity with Him? Let us all approach the altar of Our Lord with the same zeal, devotion and innocence as the little angel.  Have a blessed week.

Peace!
Mare

What Would Jesus Do Anyway?

I am going to admit it. I am having a very disappointing day. I am sure that you have had at least one in your life and hopefully it has only been one. It started with something that happened yesterday which I am not proud of and it is an act that has made me extremely disappointed in myself. It happened in of all places the Adoration Chapel that I go to on Sundays. Well, about 15 minutes into my time at the chapel an older woman came in and sat down. She was well dressed, with her make up and hair done and was wearing nice jewelry and she seemed to be in her 70s, though these days who can tell how old anybody is? Well she was sitting in front of me and behind my Adoration mate. While in there she seemed to breath heavy, then it would pass and she would continue saying her rosary. She did it numerous times while sitting in there for probably about 25 minutes. From where I was I wanted to reach out to her. I wanted to just tap her on the shoulder and ask her if she was okay; if she wanted me to pray for her or someone she loved. Did she need a shoulder to cry on? But then, she would settle down and get back to the business of praying, so it occurred to me that maybe she was just struggling to catch her breath. If I had tapped her on the shoulder maybe I would have embarrassed her, that wouldn't be the first time I had done that. It bothered me. I could not concentrate on my own reason for being in there. Finally someone else came in the Chapel and sat on the other side and he smiled at all three of us when he came in. Shortly after that the woman finished her rosary and got up and left. When she was leaving I noticed that her eyes were, in fact, red rimmed and I was wracked with such a pang of guilt it practically left me breathless. Frankly I was shocked at my own behavior. It is not like me to ignore anybody, particularly someone who is crying and alone. Not my finest moment, but it passed and I said a prayer for her anyway.

Why do we do that? ABC has this show What Would You Do? It never ceases to amaze me how uninvolved people are when they see something. My son calls me the most opinionated person that he knows. Well I say et tu Brute' to him. If I see something I'm sure as heck going to say something. I have had Tom do things too when I couldn't; like the time we were in a teller drive-through and there was someone lying on the grassy knoll in front of us near the mall. I was horrified that the guy may be sick and insisted Tom get out of the car and check on the guy. I won't repeat what the guy told Tom, but he was a ok. Have we become that callous of a society that we just walk past and turn our heads when we see something that isn't right? I don't understand that behavior. I'm still scratching my head over not tapping someone on a shoulder just yesterday. I know New Yorkers, very well, and that is how we are often perceived and I am here to tell the world that you are dead wrong about us. Well mostly dead wrong.

I swear to God, next time I think I see someone crying, someone being wronged, someone being hurt, I am going to do what Jesus would want me to do and that is get involved. So watch out world! That tap on the shoulder could be from me.

Peace,

Mare

On the Bench

On a cold snowy New York morning
enveloped in a veil of gray sky
I set out for a walk in the the crisp air
to clear the cobwebs out of my mind's eye

As downcast as the weather around me
my mood echoing around in my head
I walked the streets of my surrounding neighborhoods
instead of being home tucked away in my bed
As I walked through the park in one neighborhood
an oasis in the center of town square
I found a man all alone on a bench
that I didn't expect to be sitting there
The man patted the bench, "come and join me"
as a smile brought the sun to his face
he then brushed off the snow right beside him
and I found myself settling into the space
What brings you out on this dismal, bleak morning?
You look as if you carry the weight of the world
Unburden yourself if you care to
and I promise no stones will be hurled
So there we sat - two strangers together
with the snow just beginning to fall
and I thought that I shouldn't say anything
I shouldn't utter one word at all
Yet there was just something about his demeanor
there was serenity in this man's calming tone
and the tears began to well up inside me
and I felt the weariness drain the strength from my bones
You see, I haven't done much in this lifetime
Success has been elusive to me
While others have money and travel
I've done nothing of prominency

I found myself saying

The home that I have has no grandeur
My clothes lack a designer name
My fingers and ears bear no gemstones
and oftentimes I feel rejection and shame
The man sat there saying nothing
with his hands clasped tight in his lap
than a tear trickled down the man's cheekbone
and as he removed his woolen blue cap
he said weep not woman for I am with you
and have been with you every day of your life
You must open your eyes to what is important
for your words cut my heart like a knife
You see the things of this life are malignant
to the welfare of someone's soul
for a life should not be measured by trinkets
or by the weight of sterling silver or gold

Did you not awake in your own house this morning?
Eat, and have something to wear?
Do you not have a family to love you
or a friend with whom things can be shared?
Does the Father not provide for all creatures
in the air, on the ground, in the sea?
Does he not love all of his children?
Will he not love you for all eternity?
You know the answers to the questions I ask you
he said as I dabbed at my trickling tears
You have everything you need in this lifetime
so be thankful and be of good cheer

For you cannot serve both God and money
for both lead you on a different path
To let go of your material yearnings
is like separating fine wheat from the chaff
If you center your life around the Father
then all things will fall into place
You'll find the peace in your heart that you're craving
and He will fill you with every grace

As he spoke this the snow ceased it's dancing
and the man took a hold of my hand
and as the sun tried to break through the grayness
I knew this man was a part of God's plan

This wasn't a random encounter
for he knew all about God and his love
He was my very own Guardian Angel
who had come to help me from heaven above

An original work of poetry by Marianne E. Hare copyright 02/10