I'm Struggling, How Are You?

 To be honest, I'm struggling and grappling with so much this year.  Many on social media that I see seem to be in the same boat as I am too.

Last night I spoke to my endo and there were so many things out of whack on my recent labs, that if I was a car dashboard every light would be lit, especially the check engine. My body is sick. Every indication is there, but the source is God only knows what. I just know that something is off because my motivation to do anything this Summer is nil. I'm in an inner war as I write this, to either head to the yard to say my daily afternoon prayers, or to just go and lie on the couch with a crossword and a fan blowing on me and eventually fall asleep. Of course, this all comes in the middle of the busiest year, EVER for GloryGloryGifts.com. (That never takes a backseat though. If I fall apart, Tom takes over the operation, so it never sleeps.) That's my motivation to get up and operating in the morning.

I consider myself to be very blessed though as I'm a firm believer in offering my suffering up to God as a form of prayer. There are many days that I do just that. If you ask me that is a perfect form of prayer as there aren't any distractions (come on be honest, you know you are thinking of what's for dinner, what to wear or your come back to someone that cut you off earlier during prayer). The other day I came across a meme, which I just love..... (blessings on Mel for wearing a scapular btw)

The message is a powerful one, I think. Jesus is ALWAYS present to hear our prayers and petitions. Jesus was persecuted, tortured and died for the sins of the world. Our sins. Jesus knows us to our very core and loves us anyway. Honestly, I could look at it another way too..  My suffering is nothing compared to His for me, so every little nuisance, pain, hardship and illness that I suffer can be endured because I'm doing it for Him. That's my way of acknowledging Him and all that he suffered for me. To me, that's what this picture represents. Jesus sees my heart, my soul my entire being and he listens intently when I talk to him. He offers strength, guidance and love even though I'm a fractured, imperfect, sinful human. He loves me. He loves you. He loves everyone equally and that is a beautiful thing to ponder. If you suffer for any reason, offer it up to God for the sins of the world, those that you know and don't know, and for your own. It IS the perfect prayer.

Speaking of prayer (do you see what I did there?), I have some fabulous ones that I say first thing in the morning when I swing my feet over the side of the bed. They help me in two ways. First, they offer all that I do during the day to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, and the Immaculate Heart of Mary. Second, they can and do stop me from sinning during the day. Not only say the words, but hear them when you say them. You will think of them during the day when you are tempted to sin, that I know from experience. It offers the good and bad in your day:

O Jesus, through the Immaculate Heart of Mary, 
I offer You my prayers, works, 
joys and sufferings
of this day for all the intentions
of Your Sacred Heart, 
in union with the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass
throughout the world, 
in reparation for my sins, 
for the intentions of all my relatives and friends, 
and in particular
for the intentions of the Holy Father. Amen.

Beautiful, isn't it?

Among the others that I say, is the prayer to my Guardian Angel:

Angel of God, my guardian dear, to whom God's love commits thee here. Ever this day, be at my side, to light, to guard, to rule, to guide.

Another great one to say every morning and evening.  

Pray, every day and often. Offer your suffering up to God for the sins of the world, those close to you and for your own. Be as close to Christ as you can possibly be. If you have eyes to see and ears to hear, it is blatantly obvious that we need to arm ourselves with the armor of Christ. Be strong and may God be with you.

Mare 

P.S. I did venture outside and was met with a glorious sun, monarch butterfly and a small group of finches eating my mulberry tree, so life is good.

 

Does God Answer Our Prayers?

Well, I think He answers my prayers, SOMETIMES.  AT Times I don't like the answer; sometimes I feel like He isn't listening. The truth of the matter is that God hears all of our prayers.

Admittedly, many days I feel very close to him and it is often on days that I least expect to find any kind of peace or solace that I experience it. I live with a chronic, often very painful, syndrome that is basically a ticking time bomb in my body. I know that it is fatal but we are all dying so that thought really doesn't bother me. After all, you do have to die in order to be with our Lord and hold his hand or be held in his embrace. Truly, I long for that day however I wouldn't do anything to speed the process along; I have too many things I want to accomplish here before that happens. There are days, though, that I am wracked with so much pain that I have curled up into my bed and under the covers. On those days I have cried out to him to relieve the pain and yes, with the help of things like Advil and warmth the pain is alleviated.

Almost a decade ago I met a man. The moment our eyes met it was like the world stopped and I got hit by a lightning bolt at the same time. We got very friendly very fast and when I was with him, even if there were hundreds of people in the room with us, it was like we were the only two people standing there. I can't even count how many nights I tossed and turned and wrote in my journal all because of him. The first few years it was agony and ecstasy as any new relationship is. You know how it is, you think of your love night and day and can't wait to see them, even if it is just a glimpse of their smile. You don't have to go anywhere or do anything special, just being with them is special enough and you want to spend all of your free time with them. The only problem was that there wasn't any sunsets and rainbows in our future. There wasn't even any dates or stolen kisses in the present. I was gob-smacked, over the moon, crazy in love with a man that was totally and completely off the market and there was no way that was going to change either. It was sheer torture. Now I'm a reasonably level-headed gal. I do not give into flights of fancy and my feet are pretty grounded in reality but the man just overwhelmed me with emotion. After a few years of intensity I finally dropped to my knees in my bedroom one night and prayed fervently that God would lift this burden from my heart. He did just that and He also knocked me on my butt for a few years too. When I saw the man a  year or so later my heart still leaped, I can't lie, but at least I was able to talk to him without blushing wildly like a school girl. God answered my prayer yet I also got the opportunity to distance myself from things so that a clearer head could prevail. He is such an awesome God for doing that for me. It does show me, though, that even if you are truly, madly, deeply in love with someone that doesn't mean that you are meant to be together. It isn't a fun part of life yet it is a fact of life (and no he was not a married man, not in the traditional way anyway).

It is mentioned in the Bible that God does not answer all prayer. John 9:31 states, "We know that God does not listen to sinners, but He does listen to the one who worships Him and does His will." Well, since we are all sinners, I am certainly flawed as you have read, does this mean that only a select few receive his response to our prayer? Seems so. I guess, if you are living a life that is rife with mortal sin don't expect to be hearing from Him anytime soon. You must have a penitent heart, turn your life to Him, and live in the graces that He has given you. If it is His will and in your best interest He will heed and answer your prayers. It takes courage and hard work to follow in His footsteps in this day and age. That is why the sacrament of Confession is such a beautiful thing. I find comfort and solace in knowing that I can unburden myself of my sins weekly, if need be, and then go on living my life with and for Christ.

There is a beautiful prayer, The Divine Mercy Chaplet, that can and should be said daily, though it is for the dying. Jesus said that ALL should say this prayer daily. This prayer is one of penitence that asks God to forgive all of your sins. It is said on a rosary. In the interest of space I will provide you with a link to our Prayer Page on the website. The link is above. This is said at 3:00 P.M., which is the holy hour. Another great habit to get into is to meditate on your sins before bed and then say an Act of Contrition. That is on our Prayer Page as well. Another wonderful prayer is The Chaplet of the Seven Sorrows. Also on that Page. That is said while you meditate on your sins and Mother Mary's sorrows. They are special beads that are available. Contact us for availability. The link is at the top of this blog.  Divine Mercy, Divine Child of Jesus, Rosary for Life, the Chaplet of the Seven Sorrows and a Chaplet to St. Benedict are some that are available at the moment. 

I can promise you, if you put God first in your life, He will put you first as well. Have a great week.

Mare