Goodbye and God Speed, Ellie

I had a trip to yesteryear when I was so young and naive,
  but now that I'm old and looking back
      it is nearer than previously perceived


Yesterday I went to a wake for an old neighbor of mine. I very much have a problem attending wakes and funerals, even as a woman with a devout faith. It isn't that I fear seeing the deceased nor contemplating my own demise. I have a hard time watching people in pain like those that are grieving. Yesterday was different, though. While I was sitting there amidst the women that I grew up with I was reminded of the Thornton Wilder play, "Our Town," which is actually a personal favorite of mine.

The first thing that struck me was the strength and gratitude of Ellie's daughters, Maureen, Susan, Janet and Carolyn. It was funny but all of them said two things that resonated with me throughout the afternoon. The first was that Ellie, after 22 years, was once again with her husband, Frank, for Christmas. Before Frank had died, all those years ago, I used to sit at their kitchen table and watch them talk to each other. They were always smiling and the love was just so evident in their eyes as they looked at each other. They were my friends' parents, but in a way they were my parents too. (I should mention that I was a permanent fixture at their house for much of my childhood and teens.)

The other thing they all remembered was my parents taking their evening sabbatical, as they called it, around the neighborhood. All of the girls remembered them walking hand in hand down the paved streets of Annadale. They did it every evening after dinner. Every one of Ellie's daughters, as well as my other childhood friends, mentioned not only that but how caring and kind my parents were. Yup. They were. In a way, my parents were my friends' parents too. We all knew that if our own were not home that we could go to Ellie and Frank, Peggy and Ray or Loretta and Bill and that we would be safe and cared for. In turn, my friends could come to Evelyn and Joe. All of them are gone now except for Loretta. I saw her for the first time in a very long time yesterday. The way that she greeted me felt like I was coming home. I haven't felt that way since my own mom hugged me in her arms over 20 years ago.

Throughout the afternoon the one thing that resonated with all of my childhood friends and I was that we were truly blessed to have grown up with the people that we did. Those wonderful couples raised hard-working, respectable kids that have grown and passed on those principles to their own children. Those same homes that once belonged to Evelyn and Joe, Peggy and Ray and Ellie and Frank now house their children and even their adult grand children. The neighborhood hasn't changed much in appearance, well maybe a little bit, but the love of the greatest generation is still alive and well in the next generations. As a neighborhood we shared our joys and our sorrows and lived each day for our families and each other. We were truly blessed to have grown up in our little town of Annadale, surrounded by an incredible bond of the love, caring and loyalty of our neighbors.  It is something sorely lacking in so many neighborhoods today, including my "new" one.

As the last echoes of my childhood drift in my memory I'm struck by the fact that those same memories that I cherish are the same ones that my friends have. My bucolic, safe neighborhood of my childhood will always be not only a memory but a part of the woman that I have become.

Thanks Ellie. You will be missed as all people that emanate and embody love are. You were a treasure. Say hi to Frank for me.

Peace,

Mare

Storms and Solace

For once, I am speechless. Mark your calendars; it is surely a day for the record books. Let me start by saying thank you God for sparing my family and friends and keeping us all safe during Hurricane Sandy and the subsequent Nor*easter. Yes, some of our family and friends lost all of their belongings and some their homes, but things can be rebuilt and restored to some degree of normalcy; people are irreplaceable. My heart breaks for all those that lost loved ones. You have been in my thoughts and prayers since the storm first hit and the first casualty was reported.

While the world was watching what was going on in Staten Island we, though in the midst of it all, knew virtually nothing. I know how high the water reached some of our south shore communities from our first venture out the day after to check on friends and a relative who live near the shoreline (otherwise known as flood section A). I know how stubborn some people were in not evacuating or being unable to and knew that life and death situations were happening less than a mile away and all around the island. I also knew as the winds bent trees to the ground and snapped 100 year old oaks like twigs that we were in serious trouble when I saw my first big gust attack my neighbor*s tree, while I was washing the dishes and facing the window. The storm left me with an emptiness inside. Our electric went out the night of the storm, along with cellphone reception, internet, and landline telephone service. We also lost part of our roof and a tree in the backyard was damaged. Thank God, we were one of the lucky ones that still had gas and were able to cook on our stove top the slowly defrosting items from the fridge and freezer, so we had food. We also had hot water because of the gas. We lived by candlelight at night and broke out the board games. We went to bed early and woke up early and spent the days with our neighbors standing outside and talking. That is how we got our information, along with my little transistor radio, a relic from my teen years. It was eerie to listen to radio stations that had no information as they too were cut off from news suppliers and operating on generators. It was humbling to live without electric as so many all over the world do. But most of all it was very unsettling to me to know that the adoration chapel was closed for 2 full weeks (you know how I love my adoration chapel) and that evening and early morning masses could not be held because of the darkness. Candles just light so much.

Being a small community though, something beautiful started to happen right after the first storm hit. We started to help each other. Strangers from all over the country came here to help us get back up and operating. Because of that we had our electric back in 5 days, the cellphones in 6 and the internet and telephone in 8. We JUST got gas into our car, which sat idle for a week due to the crisis. What little we had initially though was enough for us to check on the well being of our friends. Unfortunately it was not enough to get us to a gas station. Thanks to the help of one of Tom*s friends we finally got enough in the tank to move the car.

Thank God for the National Guard that has been helping out from before the storm even hit, the Army is here and recently Homeland Security is here as well. The amount of people volunteering at the shelters and helping homeowners clean out, eat, and stay warm is overwhelming. FEMA stopped by our home the other day to check on us, though they deserted us like a sinking ship when the Nor*easter blew into town, they did return. We are not quite sure what the Red Cross is doing, but if cars are swept away those most affected are not going to be visiting them wherever they have set up shop (that applies to FEMA too). People are still suffering. Many are displaced. Many are still without electric and heat not only here but in our neighboring boroughs as well.

As a community, Staten Islanders are healing. We are burying our dead, digging out the homes that can be salvaged, feeding, clothing, and housing those people most severely affected and praying that those still without electric and heat get it back soon. Even though I never take my blessings for granted, these few weeks have taught even me a few lessons about the human spirit. Even though we are the forgotten borough of NYC I am very proud of my fellow Islanders and their response to the needs of their neighbors. Also, I am very thankful to all of the first responders and all those that travelled great distances to help us. On a lighter note, I learned that prayer by candlelight and without the background noises of electric made me feel closer to God. I also learned that I can live without the internet, television and yes, even lights for long periods of time and that I expect going forward I will be paying Con Edison much less in bills from this valuable lesson. I learned once again that my son, Tom, is just an absolutely awesome guy to be with any time - even in crisis mode. Most of all it taught me that the majority of people are good of heart and willing to help others less fortunate.

May God bless Staten Island and the United States of America, for we are truly united.

Mare

CLICK ON THE PHOTOS TO SEE THEM ENLARGED.

Boat from the Raritan Bay, which is now in a parking lot off Sharrotts Road 

Just one of the homes affected by the storm

Look at the roots of that thing! Same house as above, just another closer angle

Boats from a local marina piled up on neighboring streets left some road unpassable

One of the homes that was hit with the 10 foot water surge, belongs to a friend of the family 

The main road in our town (Annadale Road) blocked off by downed trees and power lines

Wonderful Day!

Yesterday we had a wonderful day at Richmondtown in Staten Island. Of course Tom, my partner, was there right by my side and we had a great time talking to all of the great people that came to our table. We hear that it was hot in the sun and I believe the temps got up to the low 70*s. At one point Ildika of Sweetie Pie*s Preserves, across from us, took off her hoodie and cap and was in her short-sleeved shirt so I knew it was nice and toasty on her side of the road. We were under a tree, so both Tom and I stayed pretty much bundled up all day (I was wearing 3 layers) as the sun was at one point in our eyes, shining through tree leaves, but that was about as much sun as we got. Actually that is a good thing because 9 out of 10 times when we do outside fairs at one point or another my sunscreen wears off and I come home pretty cooked. I think the last time I can actually say that I was freezing with a capital F at a fair was when we did a sale in front of the house in mid-November a few years back. Never again! Well, not in November anyway!

Since many of you do not live in or near the Staten Island area I thought you might like to see some photos of what Richmondtown actually looks like. It has the oldest school house, called The Voorleezer House, the oldest known in America with it*s patent dating back to 1680. It has been restored and is open to the public along with many of the other buildings that were either already there, such as the Court House or moved there such as the Lake-Tysen House which was originally built in the Oakwood section of Staten Island by Joseph Guyon. That house has a Dutch-Flemish flavor to it where as the Voorleezer is a clapboard style. Off the top of my head I can think of few of the buildings there, the first railroad station on the island, a pub, sawmill, tinsmith, general store, the court house, which includes a gift shop and local history and the museum which is a wonderful way to get in touch with Staten Island. It has so many more houses and businesses and it is so funny how things happen. You know how I love my signs and wonders and coincidences. I just found out while captioning the photos for the blog that Tom and I had our table right in front of the Annadale Train Station and General Store, which is where we were both born (the town of Annadale, that is, not in the general store). This train station was moved, obviously, from the Annadale area of the Island and dates back to 1850 but was added to in 1911 and used as a residence. Today it is used as a place for restoration. How funny is that? Without even knowing it Tom and I were assigned to the Annadale section of the fair. That little building pre-dates our first family member born on the island by 30 years. She ended up an orphan and lived for a few years at Mount Loretto in the south shore, when Fr. Drumgoole was there and eventually was raised by her aunt.

If you are ever heading to the New York area, or live near by, make it a point to visit Richmond Town Restoration. It is just filled with Staten Island history and gives you an idea of what life was like for small towns all over America back in the old days. People flock to Williamsburg and have no idea that this town is very, very similar and in the heart of New York City. For more information and upcoming events you can always visit their website http:///historicrichmondtown.org.  They have so many great events coming up you have to check out their site and get your butt over there!

Oh, and there is a shot of our humble table set up and your*s truly too. (The Annadale building is over my right shoulder.) Visit Richmondtown! I insist! You will be transported back in time and just love it - especially on Old Home Day, the Autumn Months and the Candle-light tour and when you are done stop in the Bennett or Guyon Cafes for some hot apple cider! 

Have a peaceful week!

Mare 

Seaman*s Cottage

Richmondtown Historical Museum

Stephen*s-Black House (with general store added onto the back end)

Street view looking up at court house

The Bennett House

The freezing vendor

Street Scene in front of New Dorp Train Station

The Court House

  

Just a sampling of our items on our table

Street scene of the General Store, Print Shop and Carpenter Shop

The Guyon-Lake-Tyson House

The Voorleezer House

Annadale Train Station & Shop before (restoration I believe)

Stables and Black Smith