Wouldn't it be a much nicer, kinder world if we did just that ~ judge less, pray more? Maybe if we spent more time at our places of worship, participating in community functions and doing things with our families and less time on social media our eyes and minds would be opened up much more. Perhaps if we disconnected from the electronics that run our lives and have experiences IRL with people, places and things we would understand more about them. First hand knowledge and experience, walking in someone else's shoes so to speak, does provide you with certain insights. I think with that new knowledge and understanding comes less judgment of that person or place. That has certainly been the case in my life.
There is a huge difference in watching something on your device or television screen and having the experience first hand. In truth, there is no substitution for a real life experience but sometimes television can teach you so much. It teaches you not only sympathy but also, sometimes, empathy.
For many years I sat and watched the news at night with people doing foolish or horrendous things who got arrested. I used to just sit there and shake my head. I had formed opinions about the people, and their lives, based on a 2-minute clip of watching them being led into a courthouse or police station. Tsk, tsk my tongue would cluck, while I sat there drinking my cup of tea and serving as the moral police, and the judge and jury, from the comfort of my couch. That is, until my doorbell rang about 10:00 one night back in 2000. I won't get into the specifics of it here, but Tom was in very big trouble. It was the end of both of our lives as we knew them and things spiraled out of control for many years afterward. We did the court thing for 2.5 years and then he was sentenced. Before, and after his sentencing I would visit him at Riker's Island in Queens, NY. I can tell you for a fact that Riker's is the last place on earth that you want your offspring to be in, let alone your 15-year old one. As his only parent, active in his life, I experienced the court dates and those trips to the prison to visit him, many times alone, that is until I would get up to the parking lot just outside the island. Once there, I would meet men and women of all different ages that were going to see someone in there. Regardless of our age, ethnicity, or sex we all found ourselves in the same bus headed to see someone that we loved or cared about. Every single trip I found myself talking to someone from teen Mom's with a baby in their arms and one hanging onto her hand, to a chef in an Italian restaurant that was bringing clothes to his girlfriend, to a heart-broken Mother who's son was doing 20 years for manslaughter. The last young man had just been sentenced and his Mom wanted to see him before he was transferred to an upstate facility. We all experienced the pat downs, metal detectors, drug sniffing dogs coming through our bus (once on the island) and the hours of being shuttled from one building to another. Typically it took me 6-8 hours to get up there and through the facility and then home again. On a few trips, during the weekdays, I had the added bonus of being strip searched from the waist up. It seems that women do smuggle things in, or used to, in their undergarments. It was exhausting, humiliating, emotional, stressful beyond belief and extremely eye opening to visit Riker's for that year but all of that did teach me one thing - in spades - empathy.
When I see the news now I cry. There is so much heartbreak in the world it is almost impossible not to cry when watching it. But, when I see someone being arrested or detained, I now think of their loved ones. Because of my own experiences I know what is in store for them. I am thankful that I, too, have walked in their shoes because it gives me a much different perspective. I look at my history and thank God for it because it has given me empathy for so many people now. I have walked in many shoes.
I'm not saying go to prison, but get out there and learn new experiences and meet new people of all cultures. Disconnect the gadgets and connect with people IRL. If you must watch the t.v. make it something worthwhile. I'm not talking about watching the Kardahians or the Real Housewives of Anywhere here. I'm talking about shows that you can learn something from like Vice, Nova, Frontline or even Globe Trekker. You only have one life, make it matter. Judge less and pray more. I wish you all peace.
Mare
BTW (by the way) if you are over the age of like 30 IRL means in real life. LOL (laugh out loud)
There is a huge difference in watching something on your device or television screen and having the experience first hand. In truth, there is no substitution for a real life experience but sometimes television can teach you so much. It teaches you not only sympathy but also, sometimes, empathy.
For many years I sat and watched the news at night with people doing foolish or horrendous things who got arrested. I used to just sit there and shake my head. I had formed opinions about the people, and their lives, based on a 2-minute clip of watching them being led into a courthouse or police station. Tsk, tsk my tongue would cluck, while I sat there drinking my cup of tea and serving as the moral police, and the judge and jury, from the comfort of my couch. That is, until my doorbell rang about 10:00 one night back in 2000. I won't get into the specifics of it here, but Tom was in very big trouble. It was the end of both of our lives as we knew them and things spiraled out of control for many years afterward. We did the court thing for 2.5 years and then he was sentenced. Before, and after his sentencing I would visit him at Riker's Island in Queens, NY. I can tell you for a fact that Riker's is the last place on earth that you want your offspring to be in, let alone your 15-year old one. As his only parent, active in his life, I experienced the court dates and those trips to the prison to visit him, many times alone, that is until I would get up to the parking lot just outside the island. Once there, I would meet men and women of all different ages that were going to see someone in there. Regardless of our age, ethnicity, or sex we all found ourselves in the same bus headed to see someone that we loved or cared about. Every single trip I found myself talking to someone from teen Mom's with a baby in their arms and one hanging onto her hand, to a chef in an Italian restaurant that was bringing clothes to his girlfriend, to a heart-broken Mother who's son was doing 20 years for manslaughter. The last young man had just been sentenced and his Mom wanted to see him before he was transferred to an upstate facility. We all experienced the pat downs, metal detectors, drug sniffing dogs coming through our bus (once on the island) and the hours of being shuttled from one building to another. Typically it took me 6-8 hours to get up there and through the facility and then home again. On a few trips, during the weekdays, I had the added bonus of being strip searched from the waist up. It seems that women do smuggle things in, or used to, in their undergarments. It was exhausting, humiliating, emotional, stressful beyond belief and extremely eye opening to visit Riker's for that year but all of that did teach me one thing - in spades - empathy.
When I see the news now I cry. There is so much heartbreak in the world it is almost impossible not to cry when watching it. But, when I see someone being arrested or detained, I now think of their loved ones. Because of my own experiences I know what is in store for them. I am thankful that I, too, have walked in their shoes because it gives me a much different perspective. I look at my history and thank God for it because it has given me empathy for so many people now. I have walked in many shoes.
I'm not saying go to prison, but get out there and learn new experiences and meet new people of all cultures. Disconnect the gadgets and connect with people IRL. If you must watch the t.v. make it something worthwhile. I'm not talking about watching the Kardahians or the Real Housewives of Anywhere here. I'm talking about shows that you can learn something from like Vice, Nova, Frontline or even Globe Trekker. You only have one life, make it matter. Judge less and pray more. I wish you all peace.
Mare
BTW (by the way) if you are over the age of like 30 IRL means in real life. LOL (laugh out loud)
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