Humanity, Humility and A Whole Bunch of Love

People never cease to amaze me, but I will get to that in a moment.

Friday afternoon, the 11th, I was sitting here at my trusty computer when I started to get this insane itch on my left calf. I looked, but did not see anything - not even the little red dot of a mosquito bite. That evening I started to feel a little blah and was shivering, despite the 85 degree temperature outside. At 3:00 A.M. I woke up with a high fever and a throbbing leg. After hemming and hawing for an hour and a half my son finally said look ma, you woke me specifically to go to the E.R. and I am now going to take you there even if you kick and scream. I hate going to doctors; I hate going to hospitals as well. But sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. I just got out yesterday afternoon btw.

Long story shortened, I was admitted at about 7:00 a.m. and finally got into my room at 10:30 a.m. When my son arrived late that afternoon his eyes went immediately to the back of my bed frame and he began our conversation which went something like this, " did you put that there?" "Put what there?" "That picture." "What picture?" "There is a picture of Jesus on the back of your bed." "Get out! (I said in awe)." Then he said, "Holy s**t!!" He scared me with this and I said, "You're using that language with Jesus on my bed?  WHAT?" "There is a rosary wrapped around the bed too!" Now what is odd is that I was in a non-denominational hospital. Finding Jesus anywhere (except in the Serenity Room) is not what you would expect. Anytime someone would ask me how I was doing I would say, "Jesus has my back," as he did - figuratively and literally.

Humility - The sheer experience of being in a hospital can teach you humility in spades. My first roomie was only there for the day; they moved her from my room that night to another. She was what I termed a walker. She was determined to get out of that bed and leave, or whatever, despite the fact that alarms would sound and lights flash if you even dangled your feet over the side of the bed. God help me I have to admit it did keep me entertained for the day, even in poor health. She had tenacity in spades and nobody was going to keep her in that bed. 

Next into my room was a woman I will call Daisy. Oh my gosh, I fell in love with her. She is a sweet, kind, gentle soul. In the 4 days we were together we talked quite a lot about her kids and grandkids, whom she loves with all her heart. The first morning her husband showed up (she was brought into my room at 3:00 in the morning) at breakfast, with a bag of goodies for the staff. The first conversation I heard was the NA come in and ask if he was her son. That would upset ANY woman if you ask me. It is right up there with asking a fatty (I can say that because I am one) when they are due. (Thankfully I am past the age where people would actually put their hand on my stomach. Talk about awkward when I would say I'm not pregnant.) I could hear she was upset and he said when you get all dolled up you outshine them all Daisy. Now, I'm lying there hearing it all through the curtain thinking, AAAWWW, oh my gosh, this is just the sweetest thing I have ever heard. What true love they have. Breakfast came and the tide turned. It was like someone clicked a switch on him. Next thing I hear is him verbally abusing her. He would call her names, and tell her things like I can't wait to get rid of you.  Every time someone else was in the room he was all sweetness and kindness, purportedly bribing them, cajoling them, flirting and strutting like a peacock. When they were alone it was a different story. Often, I would lie there and want to shout out DO YOU KNOW I CAN HEAR YOU?? He showed up for every one of her meals, (I thought) to help her eat. It wasn't until dinner of the second day, when our curtain was pulled back that I saw that HE was eating her food! She had a healthy appetite but was a tiny little thing. The first time I saw this my mouth hit my chest. Every meal he would strut in with the bag of goodies and once came in with a pizza. Here is the kicker, when I got my phone turned on (Tuesday night) the phone rang and I got all excited thinking it was my brother. Nope. It was him. He didn't know my name so he called the switchboard and asked them to put him through to any phone that worked in my room. I was shocked to hear his voice and all he did was take credit for getting MY phone turned on (which he didn't - I PAID for it) and to ask Daisy if the daughter had left yet. I was flabbergasted! My brother was the next call btw. So where is the humility in all of this? He thought that all that fluff he was doing was getting her the extra attention. She is the most lovable woman, she does not need any damn donuts to persuade people to take care of her. I made sure that the curtain was always pulled back then so I could keep a watch on her, especially when he was there. It does not take big bloviated gestures to get someone's attention. It just takes a sweet, kind, good person. I prayed for Daisy (and my first roomie) when I was in there and will think of her often when I say prayers in the future too. Only God knows what that tiny little woman has been through in her life but she has a strong faith and the soul of an angel. Daisy taught me humility.

Which brings me to humanity. I saw the absolute best of it while in there. God bless the nurses, doctors, assistants, food people, housekeepers, transporters and the other staff. Every single one of them was always smiling, patient, professional and treated everyone like a human being. Whether the patient knew where they were or not, those professionals treated them as if they were their own family. Their love for humanity shone through like a beacon in the night. They were all busy and worked hard, but did their jobs and did them well. You expect love from your family, but sometimes you do find it in the worst situations too from complete strangers. My hat is off to the staff of Staten Island University Hospital - South, but in particular to the incredible staff of the 3rd floor. Your love for humanity is breathtaking. I felt comfortable and safe with you, you took terrific care of me and the only thing you got from me was all I had to offer - a smile. As one of them said to me yesterday after I told her about the donut and pizza bribes, "I didn't do it because of what he gave me; it is my job." God bless them all.

Have a peaceful weekend.

Mare

P.S. She (the aide I mentioned it to) forgot to take her donut home anyway.