I can't even begin to tell you how horrible my March was. It started with a stuffy nose and pharyngitis around the 1st. On the 6th I was in the ER with a horrid pain in my mastoid area. Of course I Googled it and had myself dead of mastoiditis, a brain hemorrhage or a blood clot, hence the initial trip to the hospital. A CT scan showed nothing of the sort so they discharged me with the diagnosis that it was a nasty infection in the sinus deepest into the head, near the pituitary gland. Three days later I was in there again with fluid accumulating on the back of my head (between the skull and the skin) and the most excruciating pain I have ever experienced in my entire life and trust me, I've had some extremely painful things throughout it. I've never experienced pain that drove my blood pressure to dangerously high levels, but this pain did. Literally moving one strand of my hair brought me to tears. My ear looked like I was a boxer with a lengthy losing streak and I started to get a rash on my chinny chin chin too. They diagnosed me with Shingles and sent me on my merry way with 3 prescriptions and a warning to return if it went onto the tip of my nose, if my vision changed or if it went into my ear (it was already there!). Next day? I had a fever over 101, which is high for me so I headed back there, again, because I KNEW it was in my ear, which was swollen shut at this point. This time, they admitted me and pumped me full of painkillers and antivirals, and antibiotics and, after the 4th day, once again sent me home with instructions to return if...............
You guessed it, I woke up on the 13th with an eyeball that looked like I was one of those blood suckers from the Twilight movies. Ugh, so off I went to the ER, again, because now the Shingles was not only in my ear, but in my eye as well. Tests showed that it was in the eye socket but had not infected, nor affected, the iris and the cornea, which is a very good thing. So guess what they did? They sent me home, again, to continue with the meds I was prescribed previously and follow up with my doctor. For the entire month I was beyond miserable. Now? The skin has cleared up but I have an insane itch, that I'm trying to ignore, my ear makes a weird clicking sound and gets congested and my eye gets a bit blurry now and then, but I can live with it all.
Okay, so lots of people get shingles, from kids to adults and everyone in between. But, aside from this being a severe case of them, I also deal daily with fibromyalgia, heart arrhythmias, colitis, IBS, liver problems, muscle wasting and mobility issues from my Cushing's syndrome, which has a laundry list of symptoms, and chronic fatigue. Throw in there a good case of sleep disturbance and you can wind up with a very cranky person. I'm no Job. I get annoyed and frustrated and often I do raise my eyes to heaven and say, "are you freaking kidding me," when another symptom or illness rears it's ugly head. I'm a sinner, not a saint.
However, I am acutely aware of just what a blessing all of this suffering can be. It's a very odd statement to make, or hear, but truth be told suffering can be a pathway to love, joy and ultimately peace. How? It is because at my very lowest I am emptied out of everything that is of this world and completely open to be filled up with the glory gifts of God. That's how. Nobody in history suffered more that Jesus did during the passion and crucifixion. He did that for me. He did that for you. Why not take all of our sufferings, even the small ones, and offer them to Him?
Most of the time when I'm sick, as I was with the shingles, I find it very difficult to pray. But, here's the beauty of that, if I offer up my sickness and the symptoms to Him as a sacrifice, that IS a prayer, especially if I offer it for someone else. That is a tremendous gift to give someone that needs it too. Illness and suffering can bring you closer to Jesus in so many ways because it quiets you from the world around you and opens you up to his graces. Being that close to Him gives you joy and peace. Some of my more joyous times are spent just lying in bed with my eyes closed and just feeling His presence with me. He is found in the calm after the storm. Though He is with us during both, it isn't until we settle ourselves down that we recognize it.
Every day I thank God for all of the years that I was young and healthy and had a very full life with friends and family, good jobs, places to call home, vacations, an abundance of food, education and every good thing that this country has to offer.
I also thank Him every day for where I am now because it is exactly where I'm meant to be and I'm doing precisely what He wants me to do.
This life goes by in the blink of an eye and you never know what is around the corner for you. Life changing instances happen every second of every day that affect people. Though, I'm afraid for so many people that I encounter these days that seem to have a huge void in them. So many seem to be like the cliched rudderless boats that are just drifting through life and why are they so angry? The societal hate is overwhelming every area of our lives, or at least it seems that way, and the only way I can describe it is as a Big Empty. God is slowly being removed from our society and what happens when that occurs? People find other things that they think will fill the void. Breaking news: it's not working.
To address and help those poor souls I have a proposal. If any of you out there in blog land are reading this, and are close to Christ, offer your suffering up to Him for the conversion of hearts. Let's fill those empty vessels up with the saving power of Christ. I believe it is only by the power of prayer that we can accomplish the changes that need to take place in the hearts of so many. If we pray together, if we offer up our own suffering, you just know that we can move mountains. I'm hoping that my fellow prayer warriors join me and take up this challenge.
God be with you.
Peace, Joy and Love,
Mare
You guessed it, I woke up on the 13th with an eyeball that looked like I was one of those blood suckers from the Twilight movies. Ugh, so off I went to the ER, again, because now the Shingles was not only in my ear, but in my eye as well. Tests showed that it was in the eye socket but had not infected, nor affected, the iris and the cornea, which is a very good thing. So guess what they did? They sent me home, again, to continue with the meds I was prescribed previously and follow up with my doctor. For the entire month I was beyond miserable. Now? The skin has cleared up but I have an insane itch, that I'm trying to ignore, my ear makes a weird clicking sound and gets congested and my eye gets a bit blurry now and then, but I can live with it all.
Okay, so lots of people get shingles, from kids to adults and everyone in between. But, aside from this being a severe case of them, I also deal daily with fibromyalgia, heart arrhythmias, colitis, IBS, liver problems, muscle wasting and mobility issues from my Cushing's syndrome, which has a laundry list of symptoms, and chronic fatigue. Throw in there a good case of sleep disturbance and you can wind up with a very cranky person. I'm no Job. I get annoyed and frustrated and often I do raise my eyes to heaven and say, "are you freaking kidding me," when another symptom or illness rears it's ugly head. I'm a sinner, not a saint.
However, I am acutely aware of just what a blessing all of this suffering can be. It's a very odd statement to make, or hear, but truth be told suffering can be a pathway to love, joy and ultimately peace. How? It is because at my very lowest I am emptied out of everything that is of this world and completely open to be filled up with the glory gifts of God. That's how. Nobody in history suffered more that Jesus did during the passion and crucifixion. He did that for me. He did that for you. Why not take all of our sufferings, even the small ones, and offer them to Him?
Most of the time when I'm sick, as I was with the shingles, I find it very difficult to pray. But, here's the beauty of that, if I offer up my sickness and the symptoms to Him as a sacrifice, that IS a prayer, especially if I offer it for someone else. That is a tremendous gift to give someone that needs it too. Illness and suffering can bring you closer to Jesus in so many ways because it quiets you from the world around you and opens you up to his graces. Being that close to Him gives you joy and peace. Some of my more joyous times are spent just lying in bed with my eyes closed and just feeling His presence with me. He is found in the calm after the storm. Though He is with us during both, it isn't until we settle ourselves down that we recognize it.
Every day I thank God for all of the years that I was young and healthy and had a very full life with friends and family, good jobs, places to call home, vacations, an abundance of food, education and every good thing that this country has to offer.
I also thank Him every day for where I am now because it is exactly where I'm meant to be and I'm doing precisely what He wants me to do.
This life goes by in the blink of an eye and you never know what is around the corner for you. Life changing instances happen every second of every day that affect people. Though, I'm afraid for so many people that I encounter these days that seem to have a huge void in them. So many seem to be like the cliched rudderless boats that are just drifting through life and why are they so angry? The societal hate is overwhelming every area of our lives, or at least it seems that way, and the only way I can describe it is as a Big Empty. God is slowly being removed from our society and what happens when that occurs? People find other things that they think will fill the void. Breaking news: it's not working.
To address and help those poor souls I have a proposal. If any of you out there in blog land are reading this, and are close to Christ, offer your suffering up to Him for the conversion of hearts. Let's fill those empty vessels up with the saving power of Christ. I believe it is only by the power of prayer that we can accomplish the changes that need to take place in the hearts of so many. If we pray together, if we offer up our own suffering, you just know that we can move mountains. I'm hoping that my fellow prayer warriors join me and take up this challenge.
God be with you.
Peace, Joy and Love,
Mare
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