Confession, It is Good for the Soul

I have a confession to make. I love to go to confession. Right now I feel as if the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders and that I floated home from church. Personally I know a LOT of people and of the ones that are Catholic very few of them go to confession. Most believe that you do not need to go to confession anymore but it is still recognized to be a sacrament in the Catholic faith, mandatory and suggested to be done often. But to me? Confession IS mandatory in order for ME to receive a Eucharist into my body. Yes, that is something that I was taught growing up and  schooled in during my formative years, but it was not something I fully embraced the concept of until I was an adult.

As a native of Staten Island, I went to Our Lady Star of the Sea Grammar school, which was one town over from where I lived.  I remember they used to march us over to our little church on Huguenot Avenue for confessions and mass for all kinds of feast days, first Fridays of the month and other occasions. Each and every time I went to confession I was quaking in my saddle shoes and hoped and prayed that the priest was not going to recognize me or my voice through the lattice board that separated us. My boiler plate sins were confessed (I lied to my Mother and hit my brother) and with my knees still knocking I was forgiven and given my Penance to say. Even if I did not lie to my Mother nor hit either of my brothers (who were both older and bigger than me so there was a slim to none chance of that happening) I would say it anyway.  My how things have changed.

Today I went to the 11:00 mass and then headed over to the Adoration Chapel. The last few weeks, especially last Sunday, I have been overwhelmed with a desire to go to confession. Most of the time I do what my gut tells me, but last week when it was strongest, I put it off and instead just chatted with my friend Fr. Basil after the mass. Of course it has been nagging me for a week now and as I was leaving the Chapel this afternoon I happened to hear someone in the Sacristy of the church. Quietly I walked into the church and sat down and thought, well,  God, if you want me to confess my piddilly little sins send whomever that is my way; which he did. So the little girl that used to pray that the priest would not recognize her voice is the same little girl that said today, Father, do you have a moment to hear a confession? We sat side by side, I spoke and he listened and then he said a special prayer to Jesus to lift my spirit and for me to feel it in my heart and soul that I have been absolutely and completely forgiven. Beautiful. That is exactly what Jesus sent the Apostles out to do - forgive sinners and preach the good word. Boy am I glad that he did that.

Maybe it is because I just finished reading The Mystical City of God, which was about Mother Mary, her life, and her constant communion with her son. Maybe it is because little by little I am falling apart physically.  Maybe it was the fact that I missed a mass, which is still a MORTAL sin in the Catholic church. Whatever the reason why I had such a desire to head to confession or to even write about it now is a mystery to me but I am darn glad that I did it. As I have read somewhere, or maybe everywhere, when you die you are judged immediately. When you die it is too late for confession and any type of atonement. It is too late to turn your life to Jesus. If I have to shove that camel through the eye of a needle to make it to heaven and my blessed Jesus well by God that is what I am going to do. Thank you dear Father in heaven for putting Fr. Emmanuel in my path today. I am humbled and blessed and burden free at the moment and I adore you and praise you for that gift. In this valley of tears it is not very often that we get that opportunity, so I thank you for blessing me today with the gift of the sacrament of confession.

Just as milk does a body good, confession does the soul good.  Regardless of your religious affiliation or belief system change your life, make a good confession and follow Jesus to eternity.

Have a blessed week. Peace

Mare


PS: Oh! They still have the lattice board between the priest and penitent in most Catholic churches today for those that still shake in their shoes.