Only In My Dreams.......

I've decided that I am going to come out of the closet, so to speak,  and tell you a rather amazing experience that happened after 9/11. So often I am reminded of the day and the people that we lost. The pain has eased but the memories of them are still there.

For this, though, I have to go back to the beginning. It feels like yesterday that I heard about the first plane hitting the building and I went into our branch (I worked at a bank) where there was a t.v. I stood there in awe, with a few of my fellow employees, as we watched it all unfold. My first thought went to my boyfriend of 11 years and my sil's brother who sometimes worked there. Turns out my boyfriend was working from home that day and my sil's brother wasn't working in that area. The first tower came down as we watched in horror. In the debris I saw a fire truck parked at a curb, completely covered in dust and the moment I saw it I knew that my beloved cousin, Eric, was gone.

The devastation was complete. Eric was like a brother to me. Since I could not function, at all, I took a week off and sat with my relatives through the following days, waiting for the phone to ring. Hoping against hope that he was rescuing people and too busy to call. Of course, the call never came.

I do not know how this works, but those that are gone do know what is happening in our lives even though we cannot see them. They are "allowed" to give us messages through dreams and signs. Some people do have a gift, from God, to get messages from them for other people. Most, though are either frauds or fueled by other channels not of God. Be that as it may, I've had experiences since I was about 4 years of age. I only share messages when I am prompted to do so. Most of the time I close myself off to it. It is very difficult to reconcile my religious beliefs with the experiences, but they are undeniably real and the messages very accurate so I just accept it as a gift and do what God wants me to do with it.

The first visit I got from Eric was on 9/22/01. Here is the excerpt from my journal:

Last night I was in [my son’s] room watching a movie. I felt someone staring at me from the hall. Of course, nobody was there {that I could see”. I wasn’t scared – just a little unnerved. In a loud voice I told them to show themselves to me. I now know it was Eric. This is not mentioned in the journal but the unseen visitor then followed me into my own bedroom. It was a very, very strong presence, but I could feel that it was benign in nature. At this time I told them to communicate their message to me while I am sleeping; I can't understand them while awake.

“ I had a dream about [Eric]. His hair was a little longer and he looked wonderful. He said that he is okay and he isn’t alone. He has a message for his parents. He sees their grief and their tears. He said that he has tried to get through to his dad but he can’t. He said not to cry because he is happy and safe. He was on a journey home but needed to get the message to his parents before he could go further. It seems like we were a long way from home (our island) and that he and I had a distance to travel to get back here. He didn’t say it, but I knew that he was surrounded by people he loved, as was I. I could feel it.

Eric was very insistent I go give the message immediately. He also told (showed) me when to tell them. I pictured my aunt and uncle sitting at their kitchen table (she on the left, he on the right) I am standing on the opposite side facing them. We are alone in the room. 

When I was waking up the name Tm came strongly to mind. Eric was yelling as an afterthought but I was already too awake to understand the name so all I got was the sound of tm. I knew that either a Tim or Tom is with him also. He is happy and at peace as well.” Eric then woke me up. My first inclination was the person that was with him was probably Tim McSweeney, a local guy that was also a firefighter, a friend of his, and fellow Annadale resident.

I woke up, heart pumping, full of adrenaline and looked at the clock which read 5:00 A.M. and said (out loud) you are nuts Eric! I cannot go there now. So I was all revved up at this point and decided to write the dream down. My Aunt and Uncle were not the kind of people that believed in this type of thing and I did not want to upset them, so I just wrote the dream out and printed it. What I wrote here is exactly what transpired."

Later that day I went to their house. My uncle was lying down upstairs, but my Aunt Barbara was there as was her sister, Jean. While sitting at the kitchen table, I gave them the dream to read and after my Aunt Jean read it she said Barbara you have to show her the article. My aunt walked into the dining room, retrieved it, and returned to the kitchen to hand it to me.

The article said that the older brother of a firefighter had run to the firehouse after seeing the plane hit the Trade Center and met my cousin (who had just gotten off work) and his friend, Artie, (who was off, but picking Eric up) outside the station.  The older brother, Dennis, was looking for his brother, Tom, who worked at that station. My cousin told  him that Tom had already left for the Trade Center, but he promised that he would find him for Dennis. He also told Dennis to get his ass onto the ferry b/c it was probably going to be the last one out and I guess Dennis did just that.  The last Dennis had seen of them was when they were jumping into the van to take off to the Trade Center. What this article did, though, was validate that the person with Eric was a man named Tom. Tom Kelly.  In the chaos Eric did find Tom. They died together, as heroes. They are together now in heaven.

An interesting side note to all of this is from my journal entry of 11/21/13. It says that "Eric’s mother does not dream. She told me that when we were talking on the phone." See? They find a way to get the message to a loved one. 

I hope that someone gets comfort from this. Our loved ones that left us that day, and every day since, still love us and watch over us. The body may die, but our souls are entwined forever. 

May God bless us all.

Mare

Artie Barry

Tom Kelly