Did you ever meet someone that had a profound affect on your life? My niece was one of those people. During her short time here she did exactly what Jesus would have done, she fed and clothed the poor, loved her neighbor and was an active and vibrant member of her community, her church and her school. I can still see her with an IV in her arm, her hair cropped short, selling trash and treasures with the youth group to raise funds for their trip to World Youth Day. Yes, she was one of a kind.
Tomorrow, morning, early tomorrow morning is Steph's anniversary. I remember going to see her in the hospital 7 years ago tonight. The room was dark and she looked so tiny and frail in her pajamas they seemed to be swimming around her little frame. Steph was never a big kid, she had a cute figure on her and long blonde hair. She didn't look the type of person you would expect to move mountains and transcend people but she did. I was so blessed to be able to sit there and hold her hand and see her that one last time. Her beautiful face just slightly illuminated by the hall light outside as she lie there sleeping; her chest barely moving. She was only 20 when she slipped away from us on that quiet morning after fighting tongue cancer for only a brief 7 months. We found out about it Mother's Day weekend and she left us on the Sunday following Thanksgiving (November 30, 2004).
I wrote something for her back then. I hope that you indulge me and allow me to share it with you. One reason why I am posting this is to bring her life and her legacy to your attention. The other is to implore you to question your doctors if something isn't right. Nobody knows your body like you do. Her dentist kept blowing her off and did so for months telling her the open sore was from her braces. It had started as a small spot the year before; it might have been caught in time then. Instead she relied on her dentist. She initiated a lawsuit against him when she found out she had cancer, but died before it went to court. He offered a settlement to her prior to that which was about 1/10th of what she owed in medical bills so she declined it at the advice of her attorney. As an adult, she was responsible for the bills which topped off at close to a million dollars. When the case finally went to court, this year (yes, SEVEN years later), her parents were not allowed to testify - it was hearsay. The doctor's notes were spotty and his memory spottier. Because of that the jury couldn't convict him of anything. Even the judge, who shared his thoughts with Steph's dad a few days later in a private meeting, was devastated but couldn't do anything.
It is because of this I implore you to seek medical help if something doesn't feel right. Question them. Get a second and a third opinion. You could be saving your loved one's life or even your own for that matter. It's with a heavy heart that I share the poem I wrote for Stephanie in 2004, but I thank God for the fact that I had her in my life for the time that I did. Stephanie left the world a better place because for a short time she was in it. Because of her people have witnessed miracles, returned to the church, started their own fundraising efforts, gone on to learn new vocations such as speech therapy and have chosen lives of sobriety and stability. Yes, she was a special kid and I hope that maybe my sharing her story with you will help to save someone else's life.
Have a peaceful and joyous day,
Mare
The angel pictured above is now housed in Holy Child Church, Staten Island, in memory of Stephanie. She was not only involved with the Youth Group, she was also involved with the Music Ministry - playing the flute, a member of the Adult Choir and the Bell Choir. She was also involved in the Right to Life Movement and was the founder of the Midnight Run group that provided food and blankets to the homeless people in New York City.
Click on the poem to read it.
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