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Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Affirmations and My Daddy

This morning, just as I do every morning (praise the Lord), I swung my feet over the side of my bed, took my c-pap mask off, turned off the machine, and reached for my little prayer book that used to be my Dad's. I don't know how old it is, but, it has yellowed and the binding is reaching the point where I will have to add a piece of tape to it so that it doesn't fall apart in my hands. When I'm done with my prayers I kiss the remnants of a scapular that was once his. The two weathered leather pieces are kept safely between the pages of the prayer book. I remember him wearing it all those years ago. He used to wear the scapular and a Miraculous medal on a ball chain and truth be told he never, ever, took them off.  In that regard, I'm not like him. I have tried to wear a scapular. Because of my buffalo hump and thick neck (thanks to my Cushing's syndrome) the scapular doesn't hang right around my neck. It curls and sticks out both in the front and back and it generally looks awful and out of place (I know, I'm being vain). I tried wearing the plastic ones, which I really like, but they always get twisted up into the chain, that has my Miraculous Medal and crucifix on it, and that just keeps getting tighter and tighter as the days go by. After years of failed attempts at wearing the scapular I gave up and stopped wearing it.

While sitting there this morning I thought to myself, self, why don't you look for a Sacred Heart badge to carry with you at all times? I could easily get one from the people that we buy our scapulars from. I tried to carry my scapulars with me, but they always ended up in the wash in a pants pocket or I forgot to take them out before putting them away in a drawer. Sadly, I don't even know where my cloth one is anymore; the plastic ones are safely in my jewelry box though. 

Anyway, getting back to this morning a split second after thinking about buying the badge I heard the little voice in my head tell me to look into my Dad's wallet. I have had it since he died in 1989 and it is now tucked into a drawer in my bureau. Looking at it, I don't know how he ever sat down with that bulging beauty in his back pocket. It is chock full with pictures of every one of his kids, grandkids, my Mom, his parents, and just a few prayer cards. He actually has two pictures of me in there; one is of the two of us at my high school Father~Daughter dance and the other is one with me and a 3-year old Tom. Included in the sleeve, in front of both pictures, was a Sacred Heart badge. Of course I wasn't surprised, but I was elated! One of them is now in my pocket. May it always be with me and never see the inside of a washing machine.

The experience of looking through the wallet for the first time in many, many, years not only brought back memories of the days gone by but also of a pretty amazing man. I know my Dad loved me and prayed that Jesus would protect me just as I pray for my own son. My Dad's wallet is testament to the incredible love that a parent has for his child, wife, parents and grandchildren. It's also an affirmation of the devout faith that he had in the protective love of Jesus. My Dad knew that he couldn't be with me at all times, so he put my safety into Jesus' hands. Thank you Daddy. I'm in good hands. It was such an awesome way to start a day, knowing that I was loved beyond belief and that I still am...

So are you; by Jesus. God bless and have a beautiful day.

Mare

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