As
I write my blog post this week I am reminded of the Mother Teresa quote about
people. I do not have it in front
of me, nor remember it by heart, but it does have a line that says, “People
will be unreasonable, love them anyway.” It reminds me of another famous quote,
“Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” ~ Jesus
Christ.
Judging
by the way that barbs are flying left and right, IRL and on social media we
have all forgotten that commandment, myself included.
Admittedly, I didn’t just dip my toe into
the cesspool of ill dispute on Facebook over the last few days; I dunked my
whole damned foot into it. Now, mind you, I’m not mad at myself for my response,
nor that they unfriended me. I’m angry that I allowed that person to get under
my skin. I’m even angrier that I broke my cardinal rule of social media and
that is to leave my really personal stuff off of it. Nope, instead I hung it
out there to dry, as publicly as a sorority pledge’s undies are hurled up onto
a flagpole in the middle of a campus. Lately, I don’t like the person that FB
and Twitter brings out in me. I don’t like the personas that it brings out in
some of my friends, or acquaintances, either. Even the Pope said something that
made me go, wait…. WHAT?
Whatever
happened to respect and dignity? I blame social media for the breakdown of
decency. After all, anonymity breeds contempt. Visit a public forum or news
feed on Facebook to see that in all its glory. I’m pretty sure that things that
are said on there would probably not be said to someone’s face. Generally speaking, if you can call
someone a demeaning term to their face you have some real issues that you need
to address in yourself.
If
your conscience is clear well then good luck to you and God speed. Just a
little reminder~ your will is not God’s will. What is okay in your book may not
be in His book. You may want to crack open His book so that you can justify
your actions and words when your time comes. I’m not an expert on much but I
can say, with absolute certainty, that you ARE going to die. We all are. That rant you are about to
post or tweet? You know, the one about how someone else is wrong and you are
right or you are smart and they are stupid? Yeah, that one; God will ask you
about that. God will ask me about that. Of that, I am certain.
Which
brings me to clarity.
I’ve
had health issues for a long time, decades in fact. Now, I’m reaching the age
where my friends are catching up with me. I have quite a few friends that have
horrible allergies and crippling, diseases like RA and MS. I have friends that are
dealing with heart disease and I have friends that are dealing with end of life
things like cancer and chronic, rare, diseases like the one that I have,
Cushing’s. I have found in my own journey that the suffering and illness has
brought me a breath away from God, both literally and figuratively. The sicker
I got though, the more clarity I had.
It is true, when your mortality is staring you down you think about your
life. You don’t think about the big house that you didn’t get to live in, your
job nor all the money you could have made. You didn’t think about what
celebrity said what and ponder about every political rant out there. You think
about the people in your life and those you have known throughout the years.
You think about the choices that you made, good and bad, and contemplate the
outcomes. You think about the things that you did to hurt people, intentionally
and unintentionally. You regret
the hateful words you said or wrote to people. You wonder about what will
happen to your loved ones when you are gone and how they will fare without you.
You think about God. While you lie in bed you have some pretty long dialogues
with him actually. You find yourself bargaining with him; Lord, give me just one
more day. You find yourself offering your suffering up to him. It is the least
that you can do since some days you are too weak and ill to get out of bed, or to hold a rosary. You
pray to him, often and with an open heart. You thank him for every little
blessing he has bestowed on you that day and throughout your life. Having been
in that state I know that suffering provides two things; It binds you to God in
a way that you never expected nor experienced ever before in your life, and it
provides you with an immense amount of clarity. I think that I can say, with
utmost confidence, that those of my friends that have suffered the most have
the most amazingly close relationships with Him. I think they will agree with me on that. I marvel at their devout faith and their love of life and
all that is good in it. Though they don’t realize it, they are the very best of
humanity even if they are too sick to hold their own fork. They have, and still
do, walk through that purging fire of purity. Oddly, those friends, who should be the angriest of all, are the ones most at peace. Perhaps it is because they have learned to embrace the smallest blessings and accomplishments they have. Perhaps it is their closeness to God. All I know, and I include myself in this equation, is that as the world spins itself into turmoil and chaos, we seem to have a quiet peace and a clarity that this is the way it is supposed to be. I spoke to one of them about it. She feels it too. We don't comprehend it, but we accept it as God's will. I think that my own suffering has
given me the clarity to see God’s goodness and example shining through them. I
too have accepted a life in the balance between life and death. It is just
out of my reach but never far from me. It is for me to learn from them and not
the other way around. It has also given me the clarity to see the hateful
actions and words that people do and say to each other. I know how distressed I am about it
and how it is affecting me. I cannot even begin to imagine what it is like to
see it all through God’s eyes. If I am weeping, surely God is.
We
are all equal in God’s eyes, even though we are not equal in each others' eyes.
I leave my closing words to James 4:11-12.
“Brothers
and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or
sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the
law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. There is only one
lawgiver and judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you ~ who are
you to judge your neighbor?”
Peace,
Mare
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